By Shawn McQueen, Mentor for Two-Brain Group Coaching Course
This is the second installment of our series that is intended to help you be more effective communicators. If you missed part 1, check it out here: Common Communication Pitfalls.
A great communicator isn’t just your words, or what you say.
It’s how you say things; your tone, your language, your body, your expressions, and yes, your word selection.
Where are the places we can begin to improve our communication skills that will transfer over to every area of our lives, like in coaching, personal relationships, and friendships?
Here are two easy first steps to take in your journey to being a better communicator:
1. CARE & APPRECIATE:
- What is it about them you care about?
- What do you like about this person?
- What could you like about this person?
- What do you NOTICE about them?
Ask yourself these questions, daily, often and with every interaction.
It will retrain your brain to seek out the good in others.
Once you have some answers, share with them.
Share it with no expectation of anything in return.
Be the king or queen at noticing. Everyone loves when you notice something about them.
Start with the obvious and then upgrade your skills over time.
Without caring or appreciation, none of the other steps matter because you’d be disingenuous.
2. COMPLIMENT THEM:
This is different than what we just discussed above. To effectively compliment someone, do this:
#1- State the compliment
(What do you like about them? Do not say something you don’t feel.)
#2 – Justify your compliment
(ie: “The reason I say that is because…”)
#3- Immediately ask a question
(ie: “What is it that you do that makes you be that effective?)
Zip your lips, appreciate what you hear and LEARN!
Make it a habit, where you are consistently looking for the good in people.
It will make you appreciate them more and in turn you will be the kind of person people appreciate.
You’ll start getting more compliments too.
This is the law of reciprocity – when people receive a compliment, they feel inclined to return one – whether immediately or down the road.
(One important note: complimenting in this manner is not flattery, where you say something you don’t truly mean or where you say something just to say it.)
Start here for today.
Two easy steps that can easily begin to upgrade your interactions and how you communicate with other people!
In our next installment, we will deep dive into rapport.
A skill you absolutely need to know how to develop.
And I’ll give you multiple ways to build and develop it.